| | When life brings you choices how do you decide which direction to go? Life is always full of options but more often than not we are pushed to make changes whether those motivations be positive or negative they are what prompt us to make that particular choice and change.
I am currently in one of those positions. I have a number of options ahead of me. Some more appealing than others...some more selfish than others. I could also stay where I am. So is there really a decision that needs to be made? Yes. In my current state, though I love the place where I work I do not particularly find joy in what I am doing here. Don't get me wrong... there are many aspects to this role that I love. But in the end there is a lack of joy. This could be the role itself, or it could be that there is a change needed in my life. I guess that is what I am attempting to determine right now. Is it simply that this role does not fit my particular giftings and abilities, is it that I am just tired and need a break, is it that it is time for me to move on from camp? This last thought is one that haunts me. I love camp! I love being a part of it. But is that enough? No. I think there needs to be a definite calling of the Spirit to work at camp. I have known that calling and I have followed that calling - now however, I am unsure whether or not that calling has ended or if I have lost focus and am feeling a need for change.
I know we all wish sometimes that God would write us a letter, give us a call or email us exactly what to do next. That's how I feel today. I just wish I knew. Because I can't keep walking the road I am on now without some sense of hope or promise that things will get better or at least that the joy will return.
I think part of the problem is that I am in a constant struggle with personal issues in the midst of everything else that is going on. I know that this is not the end of the world and that whatever decision is made will not be the last I will have to make. I also know that there are others out there that have greater problems than I..... Life.... it is a peculiar thing. Wish I could see the big picture.
PS... An incredible friend shared some insights into living life and at the same time parts of the new Hanson CD.... I liked them back in the day... I really appreciate them now! Thanks Friend! luv ya!
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| | Posted 7/31/2007 9:43 PM - 61 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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